Idumea

1) And am I born to die?

To lay this body down?

And must my trembling spirit fly

Into a world unknown,

2) A land of deepest shade,

Unpierced by human thought,

The dreary regions of the dead,

Where all things are forgot?

3) Soon as from earth I go,

What will become of me?

Eternal happiness or woe

Must then my portion be:

4) Waked by the trumpet's sound, 

I from my grave shall rise,

And see the Judge, with glory crowned,

And see the flaming skies!

5) How shall I leave my tomb?

With triumph or regret?

A fearful or a joyful doom

A curse or blessing meet?

6) Will angel bands convey

Their brother to the bar?

Or devils drag my soul away,

To meet its sentence there?

7)Who can resolve the doubt

That tears my anxious breast?

Shall I be with the damned cast out,

Or numbered with the blest?

8) I must from God be driven,

Or with my Savior dwell;

Must come at his command to heaven,

Or else - depart to hell!

This hymn was written by Charles Wesley and is widely known to our generation through the Cold Mountain soundtrack.  This style of singing is called "shape-note singing" because they use 4 distinct musical notes in the sight reading (fa, sol, la, and mi).  This is why the first thing you hear in listening isn't the verse but those four notes sung in their stead.  Everyone sits in a square with the conductor at the center and belts out the tune.  Apparently, it's loud even with just a few people.  While originally prominent in the American country side, this style is kept alive in the cities (hipsters like the lack of commercialism associated with it).  And since shape-note singing was designed for hymns, people sing the hymns.

I'm not entirely sure what Wesley was going for in the hymn.  I can't decide if he is trying to convict the congregant into making a choice, or, my original thought, Wesley is struggling with his own doubts and fears.  I've always viewed this struggle as a positive thing because it shows a fear of the Lord.  Fear of God is always a healthy thing, yet we can't let doubt completely consume us.  Then we become like the sea, tossed back and forth, inhibited from going anywhere.  But questioning where we stand in our faith? We should all do that occasionally.  If I'm avoiding it, then I'm probably trying to avoid the Holy Spirit.  No good can come from that decision.